Looking back, I realize that I always found a way to push pass the depression and get on with finding a solution, or just accepting my fate. Tears and self pity don't solve problems. Actions do. Sometimes it makes it seem like I have no emotions, but that's just adaption in effect. Things are always in constant motion. But as I got good at skipping out on sadness, I also began to overlook joy and satisfaction of my successes. I was overlooking the things that made my personal art worth doing. I was addicted to improving, upgrading, and to a degree, I still am. My art, my house, my car. Things could always be better. Perfection may be impossible, but I will settle for the perception of perfection.
I now realize few things have changed as I write this post into my birthday. It's not time to slow down just yet.